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Check out CNN.com for The Frisky’s “The 8 Worst Apologies Ever”
By Lauren | September 11, 2008
By now, my readers know that I’m passionate about helping people learn to make effective apologies that restore and strengthen their relationships. So I was delighted to see CNN.com pick up a post today by blogger Judy McGuire of The Frisky titled, “The 8 Worst Apologies Ever.” Ms. McGuire focused on ways that women often mess up apologies to the men they date, and she certainly covered a lot of them: blaming your date, denying responsibility because you were drunk or your genes “made you do it,” demanding forgiveness, and so forth. It’s a good piece, and offers some nice tips on what NOT to do when apologizing to somebody you love.
Sorry to say, however, Ms. McGuire missed a few of the most common ways that people botch apologies. For example, she didn’t mention throwing a big, melodramatic scene that takes the focus off the other person. Then there’s tossing off an apology so fast that it sounds insincere, or waiting so long to apologize that you’ve offended the other person all over again. Of course, there’s apologizing in private when you’ve hurt or embarrassed somebody in public (a personal “worst” of mine), or apologizing for doing something wrong, then doing it again … and again … and again …
There are at least a dozen common ways to botch an apology; if you’d like to know what I think are the twelve worst, check out www.artoftheapology.com/paebook, where you can download the chapter of my book that discusses the twelve most common ways to botch an apology - and how to avoid them. Ms. McGuire’s absolutely right that a botched apology can leave the other person feeling worse than the original transgression. Why make that mistake when you don’t have to?
To read Ms. McGuire’s post, visit http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/09/11/tf.bad.apologies/index.html.
Topics: Apologies, Lauren Recommends, Personal Ethics |