Subscribe to my Feed
« Doctors Learn that Apologies Can Prevent Lawsuits | Home | Will the next President tackle the Medicare crunch? »
Kids Deserve Apologies Too!
By Lauren | June 4, 2008
In the “how to completely change your life for the better” category, I recently departed for Kazakhstan, where I hope to meet and adopt my new daughter. This trip will the culmination of many months of hard work of assembling documents, answering questions, getting fingerprinted (three times!) and otherwise preparing for what will undoubtedly be the adventure of a lifetime.
One of the many challenges facing me in this process was learning how to communicate with a little girl who has no reason ever to have learned a word of English. Thankfully, I live in the United States (where every consumer need is promptly addressed by the development and marketing of an appropriate product), and it took me almost no time to find CDs online that would teach me how to speak Russian to children.
The CDs are very comprehensive, and I’m now ready to address every contingency from a skinned knee to an upset stomach. While memorizing the many useful phrases on the CDs, however, I noticed one phrase that was missing. Not one of my various sources taught me how to say “I’m sorry” in Russian.
I’m not faulting the good folks who developed my CDs. They provided me with excellent products for which I’m very grateful. Still, I wonder whether the CDs reflect a common perception that adults don’t need to apologize to children. If that’s the case, I have to disagree. Kids may be smaller and younger than their parents, but they’re still people, and they’re entitled to an apology when someone bigger and older than they are steps on their toes.
Topics: Apologies, Personal Ethics |
June 6th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Lauren,
Good luck with the adoption process.
Adopting a daughter from Kazakhstan, wow, what an interesting challenge!
In relation to your comment about apologies, I agree. Any person has been wronged about any matter deserves an apology, regardless of age, race, sex, occupation or social status.
Integrity, I believe, turns on small matters. An interesting test of personal integrity is the way in which one treats people of little or no social status.
Likewise, an interesting test of corporate integrity is how a company treats its lowest ranking employee or least valuable customer.
When any person has been wronged, an apology should be given regardless of the identity of the injured party.
I am interested to hear that you haven’t come across a Russian word for “sorry” in Russian (have you tried a google search for the term?).
I have worked in South Korea for the past three years, where Confucian traditions dictate strict protocol as to how one should behave toward others. Essentially, those of higher rank (based predominately on age) are not required to show much politeness to those of lower rank. Those of lower rank must show full respect to those of higher rank, regardless of the treatment they receive in return.
Children, although loved, are at the bottom of the ranking system, and adults need not show any politeness toward them at all.
Apologies are occasionally (though not often) given to children, but are always given in the least polite form of language.
Congratulations on your efforts to learn Russian!
Learning a new language is a very challenging process. In my three years in Korea, I have only managed to pick up the very basics of the language, and cannot hold any form of fluent conversation at all.
Is Russian very difficult to learn?
Cheers
Andrew
June 9th, 2008 at 2:36 am
Hi Andrew,
Thanks for the kind words and, particularly, for the suggestion on Googling “sorry” in Russian. I tried it and got something that looked very impressive, but in Cyrillic, which didn’t help this American reader at all.
Thankfully, this process includes access to an excellent interpreter, who has helped me tremendously with this and other language challenges. Learning Russian is proving to be a bit difficult, but the Kazakh people I’e met have been very patient and gracious with my stumbling efforts to learn.
Your observations about life in Korea are most enlightening - thanks!
Best,
Lauren
June 10th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
Lauren,
I think in most countries, they appreciate your any effort foreigners make to learn their language, and the effort you have made should stand you in good stead in your relationships in Kazakhstan.
In Korea, all you have to do is say hello in Korean, and you will be told that you speak Korean ‘very well.’
(Ok, maybe the French don’t have such a warm attitude toward attempts to try and learn their language)
I wonder what the custom is in terms of apologizing to children in Kazakhstan.
Cheers
Andrew