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The Apology Center is fun … but is it effective?
By Lauren | August 27, 2009
My friend Tom recently called my attention to a website that made PC Magazine’s list of the top 100 most interesting sites. At www.apologycenter.com, you’ll find hundreds of apologies posted by individuals who want to say they’re sorry for just about everything (and it’s amazing what some people have done). You’ll also have the opportunity to vote - should this person be forgiven or not? - and leave comments if the apology or the act behind it strikes you as particularly wonderful or vile.
PC Magazine is right - the “apologies” posted on The Apology Center are a lot of fun to read. But are they effective? Probably not.
For one thing, people who post apologies don’t have to give their names, so readers frequently have to guess whether an apology was intended for them or not. For another, publicly posting an apology doesn’t provide the injured person with an opportunity to tell his or her side of the story; unless a posted apology is followed up with a private conversation, the injured person is likely to be left with hurt feelings. But most important, the whole site has an almost circuslike flavor - Step right up and tell the world just how bad you really were! See if our readers think you’ll be forgiven! - that’s designed more to entertain than to heal painful mistakes.
They say confession is good for the soul, and The Apology Center certainly offers a highly public venue to say mea culpa. Posting a confession there may make you feel better, and could even earn you a few minutes of fame. Just don’t expect it to substitute for a genuine conversation with someone you’ve wronged.
Topics: Apologies, Personal Ethics, Social Ethics, ethics |
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Hi,
Thanks for recognizing my website. I think there are different levels and goals to everything - including apologies. I started Apology Center with a few things in mind.
First, to be therapeutic for the one apologizing. So many things happen in the past, and we neglect to notice or apologize for them in that moment. So this turns back the clock a little and gives people a chance to do that.
Second, for a little fun. I know many things I did as a youngster are silly and deserve and apology…with a smirk. And the voting feature just adds a bit to that.
Third, apologizing can be hard! So this is just another way to let that other person know how you feel. Does it replace a face-to-face apology? No. But everyone doesn’t have the ability to do that. I’m a good example of that. I know what I want to say, but it doesn’t come out! So this gives me time to think about it and still make amends.
Like you said, it’s fun. Nothing beats actually looking into someone’s eyes with pureness of heart and saying, “I’m sorry.”
Thanks,
Marc
October 15th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
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