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Why are employers so unwilling to apologize?
By Lauren | March 21, 2008
A friend of mine – let’s call him Carl – recently had a very bad experience with his new company. A skilled professional with lots of industry experience, Carl was hired at a salary that was well above what his predecessor made (and considerably more than other employees at the company received). Carl’s pay and other personal information were passed from the Personnel Director to her administrative assistant to enter into the company’s payroll system. The AA went home early with the flu, leaving Carl’s paperwork out on her desk for anyone to see. By the next morning, Carl’s salary was common knowledge around the company and his formerly welcoming co-workers, green with envy, had turned on him.
What amazed me is that management never once apologized. The Personnel Director told Carl (correctly, but not kindly) that her AA had to know his salary to set up his payroll account and pointed out that, because the company is listed on a national registry that reports top employee wages, his salary was going to become a matter of public record anyway. The Personnel Director was protecting her AA, but her condescending dismissal of Carl’s legitimate concerns shattered his trust.
Carl’s boss wasn’t much help, either. When he learned what had happened, Carl’s boss advised him not to make a fuss. “It’ll blow over,” he said, “and the less you say, the quicker everyone will forget all about it. You don’t want people to think the new guy is a whiner.” Carl initially thought that his boss was just trying to avoid a confrontation with the Personnel Director, but later realized that his boss really didn’t know how to protect Carl from his co-workers’ envy once his high salary became common knowledge. Carl has lost all respect for his boss, and is thinking seriously about looking for another job.
Carl’s company valued him enough to break the budget to get him, but management didn’t know how to keep him. The AA made an honest mistake in leaving his personal information out for other employees to see, but we’re all human and mistakes happen. What should have happened, but didn’t, is this: the Personnel Director should have offered Carl an immediate, unqualified apology, and should have asked her AA to do the same. Carl’s boss should also have apologized, and should have taken steps to ensure that Carl didn’t suffer at the hands of jealous co-workers.
Management employees have many responsibilities in a company. One of those responsibilities is making sure that their subordinates are treated with the same respect and courtesy that managers expect to enjoy. Effective apologies can be an excellent tool to demonstrate respect and foster employee loyalty.
Topics: Apologies, Business Ethics |
November 20th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
As a contractor dealing with less than honest recruiters who put tails in the seats without any concern for the human being they are dealing with, I entered my present position while being told it was a “contract to hire” situation. One week after I started (over six months ago), I found out by accident that someone had been put into the position without anyone telling me a thing about it. I am not being considered for the position and apparently I never was. A “co”-manager is very hostile to cool to my presence even though I have worked as very diligently to be part of the team, worked longer hours than anyone else on the team (without me saying a word - ever).
How can I approach this seemingly unapproachable person and either ask if I have offended them or apologize for something which I have no idea I might or might not have done without my knowledge?
This manager is not in the building I work in - he’s actually over 100 miles away most of the time and I’ve seen him three times.
I was also recently hurt at work - walking into what I thought was a doorway but was actually a glass wall, floor to ceiling. I am not the only person to walk into this wall as evidenced by the face and head marks on it each and every week. I asked my direct report to ask that something obvious such as a logo film be placed so that no one else is hurt as I was (concussion and a cut over my eye…) but to date nothing has been done.
I like my team members and have never felt that they are anything but supportive, but the management situation is very depressing. To add a last insult to injury the company was sold and many workers have left or been laid off. As a contractor I could be let go without notice or comment. I feel awful in every way and just want to clear the air if possible with this manager but don’t know how to approach the situation when I haven’t a clue what the issue could be.
Thank you.
November 24th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Hi Kat,
It sounds like there are at least two different aspects to this very difficult situation. Let’s talk first about how to approach the manager who works over 100 miles away. Unless you know he’ll be in the office and available to talk soon, I think you have two choices - either talk to the manager by phone or, if you can, send him an e-mail asking for some time to talk when he next comes in. Once you’re able to talk to him, tell him that you have the impression that he’s angry or offended with you but that you don’t know why, then tell him that you’d like to apologize. He’ll either tell you he’s angry and why, at which point you can apologize, or he’ll deny it, at which point you can stop worrying about it. He may be angry or worried about something that has nothing to do with you; for example, maybe he’s afraid he’ll be replaced with a contract worker, and he’s taking his fear out on you. Then again, he might just be an angry person.
As for your injury, that’s a separate and potentially serious matter. It’s not clear to me how badly you were hurt, but the company may be afraid you’ll file an insurance claim or a lawsuit. That could be a major problem for the company, especially since other people seem to have run into the same glass and the company has apparently done nothing about it. Depending on how seriously you were injured, you might want to talk to a local attorney about your options.
Finally, I have to ask: the economy is bad, but do you really want to continue working at this company? There must be other places where they’d treat you better and you’d be happier.
Best wishes,
Lauren